communication, Love, Uncategorized

What Did You Say?

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen Covey

Recently I attended a women’s retreat in Alabama. The highlight for me was a conversation that happened because one of the speakers, Tammy Tkach, challenged us to listen to others without interrupting.  She said let someone else tell you their story, and even though you may be tempted to interject yours, don’t.  Just listen.

During a break, I looked across the table, and there sat Marguerite.  I asked where she was from.  She said, Baton Rouge.  I nodded, kept my mouth shut, and continued to listen.  She grew up south of Baton Rouge.  She met her husband, while in college there, and moved to the area.  I smiled, leaned in, and kept listening.  She had taught middle school for 30 plus years, and is now retired.

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know.  But if you listen, you may learn something new.” Dalai Lama 

Next came the gem of her story.  She told me other teachers would always ask her why her students were so well behaved, why they followed her directions, and stayed in line.  She said it was simple.  When someone was misbehaving, she didn’t yell at them across the room.  She motioned them to come to her.  She would have a private conversation with them, asking them to tell her what they were doing wrong.  She asked them why they were doing it, to help them think about what they had done.  Then she would say,  “Now are you going to do that again?”  This gave them the opportunity to make their own decision and be responsible for their actions.  As she shared, I could hear the love and respect she had for each child, the lesson of respecting others she was passing on to them.

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” Bryant H. McGill

Thank you Tammy, for the challenge.  Thank you Marguerite, for your story.  A great lesson for this mom who is always learning.

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

 

 

 

 

 

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family, Uncategorized

A Cardinal, A Squirrel, And a Wake Up Call

“Call your mother. Tell her you love her. Remember, you’re the only person who knows what her heart sounds like from the inside.” ~Rachel Wolchin

Recently, I was on the phone with my mom.  I was in the middle of telling her something I thought was important at the time, and she stopped me to let me know she saw a cardinal and a squirrel on the ground near the bird feeder.  🙂

I love phone calls with my mom. I know there are always going to be a few conversation detours. I hear about her latest trip to the store, if there were any good deals, how friends are doing, and what they’re up to. She’ll tell me which chores she’s gotten done, and how much more there still is to do. During flower season, she keeps me updated on what’s been planted, repotted, and how much rain is in the rain gauge.

I enjoy our Friday morning visits over a cup of coffee, while Morgan chimes in on almost every sentence.  We laugh, shrug, and shake our heads, rarely completing a thought.  We end our visits with a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a promise to call again soon.

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We celebrate my mom’s 78th birthday this year, and I’m realizing just how important these conversations are, whether they’re about something I need to tell her, or just about a cardinal and a squirrel.  I love you Mom.  I’m blessed to have you here.  Happy Birthday!

 

 

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

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faith, family, Uncategorized

A Break in the Weather

“There is something to be said for sitting still and letting things come clear, the way morning fog burns off the lake.” – George Witte

OJ and sunshine

Sitting here, with a glass of orange juice, nursing a summer cold. There’s a beautiful blue sky today. Hoping a little sunshine, and sunny thoughts, will clear this head fog. 😉

Bristol viewIn early August, Allison treated her dad to a getaway to celebrate his 60th birthday. They took a trip to Bristol, or as Morgan puts it, “Around the circle, ready to race!” They had been planning this for a few months. Allison found a little place, with a peaceful view, not far from the race track.

A friend gifted Rudy with some great tickets on the start-finish line. The week before, weather forecasts were not looking so good.  I could tell dad was getting in the dumps, thinking the race might not happen. Morgan and mom were sending up lots of weather prayers.  Thankfully the clouds broke just in time for the race.  The timing couldn’t have been better.  That’s how God works.

Rudy and Allison have always had a special bond.  They’re both hard workers, loyal to a fault.  They give their best on the job, and that gives them precious little time for times like these.  It was a gift for me to see them enjoying this time together; a long drive with time to catch up, a low-tech getaway above the clouds, good food for their bellies and their souls, and of course Bristol Baby!

When any of us get too caught up, for too long, in the day to day duties, we can find ourselves in a fog.  So thankful for this break in the weather for Rudy and Allison.

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

 

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autism, Morgan

Small Talk

“She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.” – George Bernard Shaw

At the age of three, Morgan’s functional speech was stolen by autism.  She was left with empty repetitive words and phrases, and no ability to carry on a conversation.  Here we are, two decades later, with something very BIG to celebrate! As she approaches birthday “Number 23!”, our girl is reclaiming that ability.  Don’t get me wrong.  She’s been speaking her mind for a few years now.  What comes up, definitely comes out. 😉  But recently, I’ve seen her taking the next step.  She’s beginning to realize that true conversation, like a good dance, takes Two to Tango.

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Pictured above: Morgan & Mom Chicken Dance at last year’s Project 22 event

Last Friday, after work, Morgan and I dropped by my parents house to say hello.  From another room, I heard her telling Mamaw about her morning.  “Worked hard at Lenny’s today Mamaw.  Whew-ee, it’s a busy long day!”  😉 My mom said, “Oh, you must be tired.”  Morgan replied with an additional sigh; “Oh dear, I’m tired Mamaw.”

Later that afternoon, we were helping friends at Project 22.  They are a local organization that provides numerous activities to engage young adults with disabilities.  A few of us volunteered to help decorate the gym for Saturday’s Halloween dance.  I had told Morgan, ahead of time, that we would need her help too.  We’d be setting up tables, and we’d need her to help set out chairs, table clothes, and decorations.  She was all about it!

As we passed Morgan the chairs, she counted out loud “One, two, three, …” lining them up, and double checking their positions.  She pointed to one of the parent volunteers, and said; “What’s your name?”  Cheryl replied, then Morgan continued; “Cheryl, working hard, lots of chairs everywhere!”  She hung in there until the job was done, tablecloths and all, then sat patiently while other preparations were being discussed.  We left with a hardy “Goodbye friends! See ya next time!”

At the dance Saturday evening, Morgan grabbed a couple of friendly ghosts to discuss Octobery stuff.

boo-p22-small This year’s Project 22 Halloween Dance

Small talk is NO small thing.  I believe this calls for a Happy Dance!

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy Vice

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