autism, caregivers, communication, family, Morgan, peace, Uncategorized

My Take, God’s Take, Outtakes

“And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.” Solomon  Eccl. 1:17 NKJV
You would think, by this point in my life, I would have learned everything God could possibly have to teach me. However, I am now assured He will forever be tweaking things.

I ended last year and started this one with a very strong sense that God is telling me to SLOW DOWN.  Maybe it’s because my multitasking tools are not what they used to be. 😉 Since applying this lesson, I’m enjoying meals more, realizing I ate.  I’m enjoying conversations more, taking in what others are saying.  I’m not as afraid of missing out on things.  I’m just praying God has me where He wants me. It’s giving me the peace I need to make this stretch of the race.
I do need to throw in a disclaimer to anyone who thinks I may have it more together than I do.  I DON’T.  God DOES.  And He has an excellent sense of humor.  Just when I think I am acing things there is sure to be a twinge or a goose in the ribs coming.
For example: A few weeks back, I was rhythmically going through my morning.  I was so proud (first mistake) of how well I was doing, getting things done, now that I had “mastered” this art of completing “one thing at a time”.  Not slowly, BUT SUDDENLY, I heard a loud hissing sound from the bathroom.  I opened the sink cabinet doors to reveal a fountain of water spraying in multiple directions.  I had THREE thoughts, All. At. Once. OH CRAP! SHUT OFF VALVE! CALL DAD!!! The rest is a wet blur, except to say I learned there will be times when we and our smart selves are just not enough to handle everything that needs to be handled.

Papaw under the sink

Kudos to Papaw and his skills!

A God wink, Morgan emerged from her bedroom as I was mopping up, announced that things were a mess, then landed comfortably in her recliner to wait for me to get my act together. 😉

Need is one of the best teachers of humility.  Forever learning.
Until Next Time,
Know The Hope!

Tammy

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autism, caregivers, communication, faith, family, holidays, Love, peace, Uncategorized

The Shape of Things

“We’re in pretty good shape for the shape we’re in.” –  Harlan Howard

Each month Morgan and I paint a scene on the windows to represent the season.  For December we did Christmas trees.  January will be snowmen,… Keeping things simple, breaking the scene down into shapes, helps her follow along.  For example, a few triangles make a nice little Christmas tree.  We add a small rectangle for the trunk, circles for ornaments, and a star to top it off nicely.

Mom, Dad, and Morgan, recently found out how important shapes are when we upgraded her bedroom.  She helped put together the bedframe.  It looked like a nice rectangle to the eye, but when we placed the mattress on, things were so out of skew that one rail looked about six inches longer than the other.  🙂 We scratched our heads, and even measured both rails.  It was at that point we realized we needed a square tool to get it into shape.  LOL!  We’re always learning.

In this life, as much as we try to simplify things, to better understand them, there will always be unknowns.  What I know now is I don’t need to know everything.  I just need to know the One who does.  I used to pray for understanding.  Now I pray for the peace that passes understanding.

When our world seems so upside-down and out of round, when I’m worried about the shape we’re in, I remind myself of God’s heart for us.  I know His Love is Pure and Perfect, so that means we’re in pretty good shape.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

 

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autism, family, friends, Morgan, Uncategorized

Messy and Beautiful

“Sometimes you’ve got to embrace the unexpected.  The things we never saw coming often take us to the places we never imagined we could go.”  Kemmy Nola

Recently, we traveled to the coast for the Frank Brown Songwriters Festival. Our family and Logan Blade‘s participate in an annual autism awareness benefit there. We also enjoy getting some rare time for our families to visit with each other. While Logan is pretty laid back, always going with the flow, Morgan requires a schedule. There is a constant juggle of what’s “too much schedule” for her, and what’s not enough.  When I think of the differences between Logan and Morgan, I’m reminded of the saying, “when you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.”  Truth!

Anxiety and OCD are kissing cousins to Morgan’s autism.  They are the enemies of spontaneity and joy.  They refuse to let go and trust that the day will land in a safe place without their orchestrating every moment, every breath.  I’ve watched them take my daughter down on countless occasions, robbing her of the ability to wait, to relax, to just enjoy being with friends.  Morgan knows friends are messy, and loud.  They often do the unexpected.  They are great at derailing her perfect plans.  I’m trying to help her understand friends are also Beautiful!  Even with all the chaos they create, they are really worth having around us.

We are always trying to find ways to help Morgan learn how to cope with the messy and the unexpected, so she can enjoy being with friends.  Our family is blessed to live in an area where there are several organizations providing social and recreational opportunities for young adults with disabilities.  They have regular gatherings, dinners and dances,…  Nothing makes me happier than to see Morgan bobbing up and down on the dance floor, weaving around her buddies.  She’s still in her bubble, but it’s the closest I’ve seen her get to popping it.  😉

Using the Arts and creativity has been another great way to stretch Morgan’s coping abilities.  Her “Messy Flag” is a pour painting, which required making a mess to create something beautiful.

We’ve made note cards from her painting to spread awareness of OCD, anxiety, and autism.  As we learn and grow, it’s always our hope to bring understanding and encouragement to others.  Follow us on Facebook Know the Hope to learn more about us, and how to get some of Morgan’s note cards.  We’d love to hear from you.

 

Until Next Time,

Know the Hope!

Tammy

 

 

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caregivers, faith, family, joy, Love, Uncategorized

Nothing Up Her Sleeve

“And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him.” 1 John 4:16

When I was young, some of my favorite memories were spending time at my grandma’s house.  There was nothing extraordinary about the visits.  Every day was pretty much the same. She was either cooking, washing, cleaning, chasing my cousins and me, tending to my aunt Laura Mae, or ironing clothes for “customers”.

Grandma Edmonds was a “One Woman Show”.  She kept one of those big old family bibles open on her kitchen table.  I’d see her sit down from time to time to sift through it quietly.  Come to think of it, that was the only time I remember seeing her pause from her labor.  Day in and day out, that was her life.  Even with all the busyness, there was a peace in her house.  I loved thumbing through the pages of that old bible, looking at all the pictures, hearing her whistle old hymns from the kitchen, while she baked.   I felt safe.  I felt loved.  The song below was written about those memories.

Grandma Edmonds’ Daily Bread

    Grandma Edmonds' BibleFamily Bible 1 John 4

Pictured above – Grandma Edmonds’ Family Bible

Before all of us grandkids came along, Grandma Edmonds had raised my mom, and four other children, on her own.  Her daughter, Laura Mae, had physical and intellectual disabilities, due to spinal meningitis.  It was clear to see that caring for Laura Mae was a labor of love for my grandma.  I remember her speaking softly and sweetly to her, while she fed her.  She’d tell her how pretty she was when she combed her hair.  She’d gently rub her arms and legs to relax her muscles.  Laura Mae was safe.  Laura Mae was loved.

“There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, … We love God because He first loved us.”    1 John 4:18,19

Laura Mae ChairLaura Mae and Mamaw

My Aunt Laura Mae

Laura Mae Bed

From my grandma, I learned the value of every life.  I learned that I can do whatever I need to do, with joy.  I understand that nothing is accomplished by wishing, but prayer and little elbow grease can bring about some amazing outcomes.  There are no fairies, but there are plenty of angels among us.  The stories in that old bible are not fairytales.  They are practical, factual, powerful words of life.  There was no magic up my grandma’s sleeve.  Although, Love IS a miracle.

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

 

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faith, family, Uncategorized

Fact and Friction

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  They say that opposites attract.  I guess that’s why we are drawn to those who have the strengths we lack.  I tell everyone, in our relationship, I am the gas pedal and Rudy is the brakes.  Without him, I’d have surely gone over a cliff by now.  Without me, he’d still be in the garage; checking the air pressure, the fluid levels,… and going back inside one more time to make sure the coffee pot was turned off. 😉

Some of the things that initially made us crazy about each other almost drove us nuts in those early years of marriage.  I’m still passionately driven, and he’s still painfully cautious, in my estimation.  But time and experience have shown us, that together, our differences have actually helped keep us between the ditches.  I’m thankful we’ve stayed on this relationship road trip long enough to learn from life’s detours, laugh at our Griswold moments, and take in all the breathtaking scenery.

I love this guy with all my heart, even when he’s a Big Old Eeyore.  We’ll celebrate our 33rd anniversary this September.  He is the most loving, hard working, caring, hang in there husband and father, you’ll ever know.  Just ask his girls.
IMG_1262

Our first date happened because he needed a little truck to help him move, and I happened to drive one.  I offered.  He asked me to dinner, as a thank you.  If he’d known ahead about some of the sights he was in for on this trip, he probably would have taken off on foot in the other direction.  Maybe that’s why God only lets us see each mile as it comes.  😉

That little truck served us well for a few years.  Rudy’s always wanted another one, but life and family happens.  Several clunkers and mini-vans later, he’s finally found his truck.  It’s not fancy, but it’s solid and dependable for the long haul.  Perfect for him, just like he’s perfect for me.  Happy Anniversary Dad!

Truck for Rudy

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

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autism, faith, family, leap of faith, Morgan, Uncategorized

Room To Grow

 

Morgan and I have enjoyed watching our raised bed plants grow.  Although she would like to plant “a lot a bunch” of pretty green things, we’ve learned that less is more.  With room to grow, in a mix of good and bad weather this year, our tomatoes and “summer squash” are showing us they know just what to do. 🙂  In Morgan’s words, they’re “A Beautiful Mess”.

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One of the hardest things for me, as a parent, is NOT overcrowding Morgan.  I admit, I’ve found myself blocking her sun on several occasions, when my sole intent was to shade her from harm.

This song was written about that parent struggle.  How much to hang on, when to let go, remembering that God’s hands are always there.  😉 A Real Hard Place To Fall

I have to consciously pull myself back to give Morgan the space she needs.  My prayer is for her to have room enough to be able to make her own beautiful, messy, place in God’s garden.

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

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autism, faith, Morgan, Uncategorized

The Blue Side of the Rainbow

“April showers bring May flowers.” – Thomas Tusser

“April is Blue” – Morgan Vice

Morgan assigns each month a color.  During the month, she collects and creates things of that color.  January is white, because of snow.  February is red and pink.  March is green,…  We do an autism awareness event at the Bluebird Cafe’ each year in April, so Morgan has decided April is blue.  One day recently, she noticed there are “Lots of Blues!”  So she created this blue rainbow pictured below. 😉

Blue Rainbow Small

And look at this “Cool Bluebird Clock” we found to match her Bluebird hat. 🙂

Bluebird Clock Small

After several rainy blue April days, mom is ready for the “Rainbow Month” of May, with all it’s flowers blooming.  Whenever I’m on the blue side of the rainbow, I remind myself that everything is only for a season.  Time is always ticking, bringing a new day, and new light.

I CAN WAIT

WITH THE CLOUDS AND ALL THE THUNDER

SOMETIMES I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER

IF THERE WILL EVER BE ANOTHER SUNNY DAY

AT THE END OF MY ROPE

HANGING ON TO WHAT’S LEFT OF HOPE

BUT THE WEATHER’S ALWAYS CHANGIN’

I CAN WAIT

 

WHEN I’M ON THE BLUE SIDE OF THE RAINBOW

IT CAN BE SO HARD TO SEE THE LIGHT

BUT SOMEWHERE I KNOW THE SUN IS SHININ’

AND ALL THE OTHER COLORS ARE IN SIGHT

 

 SOMETIMES CALENDERS AND CLOCKS

TEND TO BE MY STUMBLIN’ BLOCKS

ONCE AGAIN I COME UP SHORT AND ONE DAY LATE

THEN A SECOND HAND GOES WHIRLIN’ BY

BRINGS A HINT OF GOLDEN SKY

SO TIME IS NOT MY ENEMY

I CAN WAIT

WHEN I’M ON THE BLUE SIDE OF THE RAINBOW

IT CAN BE SO HARD TO SEE THE LIGHT

BUT SOMEWHERE I KNOW THE SUN IS SHININ’

AND ALL THE OTHER COLORS ARE IN SIGHT

I CAN WAIT

by: John Edd Thompson & Tammy Vice (c) 2002 BMI

Available on iTunes

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope,

Tammy Vice

 

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