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Sweet Surrender, Delicious Serenity

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

I recall seeing a T-shirt with a picture of a cat desperately hanging on to something.  The caption read, “Everything I ever let go of has claw marks all over it.”  I can relate.  Confession: I love children’s programs at church and school, but I hadn’t been able to watch them for years without tears.  I longed so badly for Morgan to be a part of those things.  I wouldn’t trade anything for the blessing she is, and the things this autism walk has taught our family.  But there will always be roads we know we won’t get to travel.

I remember the joy of seeing Allison in programs from the time her only role was to be cute.  Later on she recited verses, twirled with little ballerinas, made moving speeches…  I still laugh when I think about attending ABUSUA, a West African dance and drum ensemble, performed at her college.  The look on her dad’s face, when they danced out into the audience and invited different ones to join them, was priceless.

Here’s Allison in her 2007 ABUSUA performance, second from the left, ‘letting go’ of the ground.

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A while back I made a prayerful decision ONCE AGAIN to just let go.  Since then, Morgan has had the opportunity to perform in SENSE Theatre (a unique research project for children on the autism spectrum) and our Project 22 Community Christmas Concert.  Project 22 is a wonderful group of young adults with disAbilities who are staying actively engaged in our community.  It has been very healing for me to see Morgan finally be a part of things.  During a rehearsal, I caught her checking herself out in the mirror while holding up her songbook.  She did have a small meltdown  during the Christmas show.  Apparently someone did not get the memo that divas don’t like to be shushed. 😉  Thankfully she recovered and finished well.  It’s the first steps of many more I hope to take down this new road.  And for the first time in years, I was able to watch a children’s program at church and genuinely enjoy it.

Here we are performing with our Project 22 Buddies.

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To all of you who look longingly down roads you may never get to take, I wish you a new sense of joy on the ones you do.

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

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